Perfection
by Istillwishiwasaweasley
Summary: A Lavender Brown story mainly about growing up and realising that everything isn't perfect. Chapter 10 is finally up! Please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

Perfection

Chapter 1

Perfect. That's how people see my life. I used to see it like that to, not anymore though, cracks are beginning to appear. I wonder how long something can have cracks on the inside without it showing on the outside.

First of all Ron and I break up, I guess I should have expected that he's so in love with Granger. Not that I can see why she doesn't get out of the library much, she likes him though it's so obvious. For all her cleverness she's blind to love. I want him back though; I don't know why, just to prove I can I suppose. It's going to be hard at school this year with just her and me in the dorm. My so-called best friend has buggered of to Sri Lanka with her family; I don't blame her I'd get out it I could. The war has really started now the Daily Prophet reports death after death, I barely see dad any more. He runs the Daily Prophet. Mom says it's good that he's got so much to report because we get more money, I find it hard to believe that half of my genes come from her. I hate her, she just clicks her fingers and Dad goes running he loves her. I'm much more of a daddy's girl, I guess I am spoilt I mean I get most of what I want. I'm much more expensive to keep than my sister. Anna is a lot like Granger. She keeps her head buried in her books to avoid having to deal with the real world, good tactic really. All dad has to do is buy her a new book and she's happy. She's only 7 but wise beyond her years I barely talk to her. I went into her room yesterday;

"Hi Anna" No response, she's reading about some old wizard,

"Anna do you think everything's ok with mom?" Still no response

"Anna!"

"Lavender I'm reading"

"What a change, why do you like reading so much?"

"I like learning stuff" That was all I needed to see Hermione sitting in Gryffindor common room with a big book on her lap while Ron stares sappily at her from across the room. I left her to it.

Mom has been acting weird lately, she works at an apocathery on Diagon Alley but I barely see her anyway, not that I miss her. She's always been cold, heartless even. I look a bit like her I have the same hair, dads eyes though; blue. Parvati always said all the girls were jealous of my blond hair and blue eyes, I'm standing in my room now looking in my mirror, I guess my face is pretty, I'm tall too and well developed if you know what I mean, I do have one fault though. I pat my stomach and grimace, if I could just drop one dress size I'd be happy, Granger's got the perfect figure, not that she realises it. I'll never get Ron back with this figure. I'm sitting at my desk now writing my new diet and exercise plan, I'm definitely a planner, that's one thing I have in common with Hermione; I'm very organised.

I'm in the kitchen now getting a drink of water; it's good for the skin. Dad's here too looking over some articles for the evening edition;

"Alright dad" I ask sitting at the table,

"Yes pumpkin I'm fine just busy you know how it is" yes I do know how it is, this war is killing my dad. I look at him, his brow creased as his tired eyes scan across the parchment in front of him. He notices my staring and looks up smiling,

"Nothing for you to worry about pumpkin" he says

"Dad I'm nearly 18, I go to school with Harry Potter, Dumbledore is dead and I read the Daily Prophet every day, I know there's a lot to worry about" he smiles almost painfully at me,

"Where's your sister?" Smooth change of subject dad,

"Reading" I reply, he nods his head and smiles slightly, he's proud of her.

"Any post?" I ask, Parvati promised she would write, he shakes his head. We sit there in silence for a moment each lost in our own thoughts.

"Dad, where's mom?" the change that came over his face when I asked the question was quite alarming; his face went from relatively relaxed to pale and anxious,

"I'm not sure pumpkin, she's probably working late again" he says trying to act unconcerned; I see straight through him,

"Is she ok…" is all I manage to get out before she appeared in the kitchen fireplace,

"Hi mom" she dusts herself down and looks at me,

"Don't you have homework to do" I can almost feel the hate vibes coming out of her cold eyes,

"Now there Heidi it's the summer let her relax a bit" she looks and him like he was something she trod in,

"Where's Anna?"

"Reading" we reply in unison,

"Oh" she replies

"Now listen I'm going out tonight, soon in fact, so you'll have to fix up dinner yourselves"

"Where are you going?" I ask

"Lavender go and find something to do" she says not even looking at me. I hate her. I get up and put my glass in the sink.

"Do you want me to save you some love" dad asks, I love the fact that he doesn't even ask where she's going, he'd rather not know,

"No I'll be eating out"

"Business meeting is it?" he asks tentatively

"Of sorts" she replies

As I walk out and back up to my bedroom I hear my mother shouting him and his stuttered and shocked replies, I wish he would stand up to her. I stop in the middle of the stairs and sit down listening, she's still shouting at him, I hear him shout back and smile slightly before I hear it, a resounding unmistakable slap. The cracks are beginning to deepen.

A/N Hello and welcome to my new story! Hope you liked the first chapter, please review!

Love you all

Laura

xxx


	2. Chapter 2

Perfection

Chapter 2

I've been awake in my bed for hours now thinking about my dad. I knew him and mom weren't exactly a happy couple anymore but I never thought she would hit him. I hate her even more now. I just heard him go to bed, it's 1 in the morning and she still isn't home. I slip out from under the covers and pull my dressing gown and slippers on; I'm going to wait till she comes back.

Its 3 now and she still isn't home I'm sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of cold tea in my hand. I'm nodding off to sleep when she finally appears; she looks terrible her long blond hair is all matted with what looks like blood and she has scratches on her face and neck, I gasp and jump in surprise, she looks up at her and mutters

"Expelliarmus!" before I even noticed her wand, the mug of tea flies out of my hand and smashes on the sideboard,

"Lavender! What the hell are you doing here?" she shouts after casting a silent charm up the stairs to that dad and Anna don't wake, her eyes her wild,

"Mom are you ok? What happened" I say taking in her raged appearance, she always taught us how we always had to look perfect,

"Of course I'm ok what are you doing here!" she says brushing her hair out of her eyes,

"I wanted to talk to you, you're never here anymore so I thought I'd wait up for you" I say calmly

"Well I'm going to bed we can talk tomorrow" she's half way out of the room before I say;

"I heard you hit dad" she halts her progress and turns to me,

"He was being very…"

"He's worried about you mom, so am I"

"Well Lavender let me tell you now I don't need you worrying about me"

"Is everything ok at the shop?" I ask quickly

"It's fine"

"Well what's wrong mom, I know you don't exactly like me but I would have thought you would at this try to pretend that you had even the slightest feelings for any of us"

"That's one thing about growing up Lavender you need to learn the difference between real life and pretending"

"So you don't love me then" I'm challenging her now, she's going to turn around and tell me that she loves us all and that everything will be ok and that we're all just going through a rough patch, when she looks into my eyes I'm terrified of hearing what I know she's going to say,

"No Lavender I don't love you" it's like punch in the stomach to hear that your own mother hates you, I'm filled with anger

"Then leave, why are you hanging around with people you hate!" my voice is surprising quiet yet shaking with anger,

"I don't hate you" she says sitting down at the table,

"But you don't love us"

"Having a family was what was expected of me"

"So you just married dad, had 2 kids so society would accept you and now what?"

"I'm going to become who I want to be, who I am"

"And who's that"

"Powerful"

"What about us?"

"You have your father"

"Who's he got?"

"That's not my concern"

"You're his wife, you're my mom!"

My words are met with silence, tears are now rolling down my cheeks and my fists are clenched in rage,

"When do you plan on leaving then?"

"I'm not leaving"

"What!"

"Just get out of here Lavender!"

"Or what!" I'm so mad now that I hope she hits me, but when she does I wasn't expecting it, I stagger backwards in shock and bring my hand to my cheek, I want her to say sorry, to looked shocked and apologise. She walks out.

It's the start of September now, Parvati still hasn't written. I'm sitting in a carriage on my own on the Hogwarts express. It's been just over two weeks since she hit me. I didn't tell anyone. I came down for breakfast and dad took one look at my face and disappeared into the bathroom, he brought me some bruise remover he passed it to me without saying a word. The past two weeks have been uncomfortable to say the least, even Anna sensed it, I've hardly seen her. Dad's been working more and more keeping busy and out of the house, I only see him for the odd meal here and there, he looks pale, ill even. I've not said one word to my mother since that night in the kitchen; I've only seen her twice though. I'm definitely glad to be going back to Hogwarts even if Parvati isn't there; I'm not exactly looking forward to sharing a room with Granger though.

As the train slows I pull on my uniform and look up at the turrets of the castle. This is the only time I've travelled on the Hogwarts express on my own, from the moment I stepped on the train in first year Parvati and me have been joined at the hip. I feel lost without her.

There are only 4 first years that walk quickly towards Hagrid with scared expressions on there faces. I head towards the carriages with a largely reduced group of students. I can see mostly Hufflepuffs and Gryffindor students about, a few Ravenclaws, so far no Slytherins. I pull open a carriage door and climb into it; I am followed to my slight surprise by Harry, Ron, Hermione, Ginny and Neville. I greet them politely and then stare out of the window.

"No Parvati this year Lavender?" asked Neville, I turned to look at him

"No she's gone abroad with her family" I reply my voice cracking slightly, Neville smiles shyly at me and I look around at the others. Harry looks tired and as though the weight of the world rests on his shoulders. Ginny and Neville are looking at him with concerned eyes. My eyes fall on Ron and Hermione, they are holding hands it shocks me and I gasp audibly,

"What?" says Ron looking at me bemused

"Nothing" I say and my gaze returns to the window. I can feel tears falling down my cheeks, _for god sake Lavender get a grip _I think desperately. We arrive at the castle and I leap out and run up the steps to get away from them. I'm so distracted that I run straight into Professor McGonagall and fall backwards knocking my head on one of the stone plinths. I see stars.

"Miss Brown please watch where you are going?" she said sharply lending her hand. I pull myself up.

"Sorry Professor I…"

"Are you ok Miss Brown?" she asks noting my unsteady stance and the tears still running down my face,

"Yes Professor, sorry" I reply she nods her head curtly and glares at the passers by who are giggling at the incident.

"Very well into the Great Hall then" I oblige.

As I sit down next to Neville at the Gryffindor table I get the feeling that this is going to be a very interesting year.

_A/N Hope you liked this chapter please review it! Sorry for the delay! Hope you all had a great Christmas and happy new year!_

_Love you all_

_Laura_

_xxx_


	3. Chapter 3

Perfection

Chapter 3

I've just arrived into the dormitory after the feast, it occurred without great incident except for the announcement of our new head of house and Transfiguration professor; Professor Bell she's Katie Bell's elder sister. She's quite young, only about 28 and she seems very relaxed. I didn't think that Professor McGonagall would stop teaching when she became headmistress, she always seemed so present, so solid. I wonder what Professor Bell will be like, my grades aren't too bad but when they compare me with the rest of the class it doesn't look good. I just haven't got the concentration of willpower. When Parvati was here we always used to study together. I've only been here a few hours and I really miss her. I wish she would write and let me know that she is ok. Hermione's just come in and sat on her bed. It's awkward.

"Lavender, about Ron…" she begins; I don't want to hear this,

"It's none of my business" I cut across her and walk over to window looking out at the blustery September night. I sense Hermione turn around and walk towards the door not until I hear it slam do I let the tears fall. What's happening to me, I always stay together, I'm stronger than this.

I walk over to my bed and get out my diary, as usual I pour out my soul to it, I write about the lonely journey and the awkwardness of the feast. I used to be able to tell all these things to Parvati, she's great at giving advice. We used to talk about our dreams; she wanted to be an agony aunt for a newspaper. I wanted to be an artist. I draw pictures in my diary. Everyone always goes on about how great Dean is at drawing, Parvati always wanted to tell everyone that I was better but I like my art to be private. I used to draw when it was just Parvati and I on our own but I seem to have lost the ability lately, it's like I've lost my muse. Parvati reckoned I always drew better when I was with Ron, I guess love and strong emotions like that bring out my creative side. Maybe I should get a boyfriend? I like to think of things like that as a mission, it will distract me from other stuff, home and Parvati and things.

It's the morning now. I'm on my way to Breakfast, on my own of course. I dressed myself particularly carefully this morning. I've done my make up so that it's noticeable but not too much that Professor McGonagall will make me take it off. As I sit down at the Gryffindor table next to Neville I realise how few have returned to Hogwarts, I look across at the table to find my catch, my eyes fall on Terry Boot the loud Ravenclaw, he's not as good looking as Ron but then I guess not many people are. He's got dark hair and pale eyes, it's an unusual combination but it suits him. I think he dated Hannah briefly last year before her mother died, I doubt he's still with her now. Neville notices me looking at him,

"Why are you staring at Terry?" he asks following my gaze, I break away and turn towards him,

"I wasn't staring at him, I was just looking"

"Oh I see" says Neville in a slightly cocky voice,

"See what?" I retort

"Terry is your latest prey then is he?" I blush slightly

"I don't know what….Is it obvious?" I reply slightly abashed,

"Maybe not to everyone, but to me. You could do a lot better than Terry Boot Lavender" he says looking around "What about Ernie?"

I look towards the pompous Hufflepuff and scoff,

"Ernie Macmillan! Are you kidding Neville?"

"Maybe not him, maybe…" Neville finished as Harry, Ron and Hermione sit down

"Morning" he says cheerfully, they all reply with much less enthusiasm, I'm saved the bother of greeting them by Professor Bell walking up towards us,

"Morning all" she says greeting us, her only seventh years we all reply out of politeness,

"Right Brown first, Lavender there you go" she says handing me my timetable I see that I have Divination first, at least I've got a good lesson to begin with,

"Professor Bell, who is teaching Divination this year?" I ask

"Actually that's reminded me, you're the only Divination student this year Lavender so its just you and Professor Trelawney, make sure you do well otherwise Professor McGonagall might cancel the class" I am slightly shocked at this proclamation but promise Professor Bell that I will do my best. She turns away from me to give the other timetables out and I put mine in my bag and turn back towards my breakfast. I pick slowly at the food (Grilled tomatoes and scrambled egg).

The post owls fly in and I half heartenly look up not expecting anything, to my surprise however two owls land in front of me. The first is from mother I open it and read it;

_Lavender,_

_Just a quick note to say that you dad has taken ill, He's left his job at the Daily Prophet and is staying at home, I've hired nurses to look after him and a nanny to take care of Anna. I'll write if there are any developments._

_Your mother_

I scribble a reply asking what's wrong with him and why she can't look after him and then turn towards the other letter and open it;

_Dear Lavender,_

_A million sorrys for not writing sooner my dad wouldn't let me! Anyway we are safe now (can't tell you where obviously). How are you? What's it like back at Hogwarts? Have you got Ron back yet? What's it like in the dorm with Hermione? Have many people gone back? Please answer these in your reply I'm so bored here my sister is driving me mad, she keeps studying (I wouldn't mind but mom keeps saying I should do the same I'm like HELLO YOU TOOK ME OUT OF SCHOOL!) I hope the works not to hard and that you still have time to draw, send me some pictures to stick on my wall! Dad said to tell your dad that the article in the Prophet about Developments in Medical Magic was great. Say hi to everyone for me! I miss you soooooooooooo much and I love you loads!_

_Yours always,_

_Parvati_

I don't realise until Neville asks me if I'm ok that I'm actually crying, in the middle of the Great Hall, in front of everyone! I grab the letters and run back to Gryffindor Tower. I hope Terry didn't see that! Who am I kidding, everyone probably saw it! Stupid Parvati for making me cry! I run upstairs to get my books and as I'm making my way out of the Tower I run into Professor Bell (I mean actually run in to her) she catches me before I fall, why must I keep running into people! She asks me if I could come to her office for a little chat, I follow her wondering what she wants. This day is not going well!

_A/N Hope you liked that chapter please review it!_

_Love you loads_

_Laura_

_xxx_


	4. Chapter 4

Perfection

Chapter 4

As I sit down in Professor Bell's office I nervously look around, the office hasn't changed much since last year; maybe there is a little less tartan. I finish looking around and look at Bell. She's staring at me with concern in her eye's I squirm under her gaze.

"Lavender, Professor McGonagall told me that you and Parvati Patil were close friends, I know it will be hard for you this year without her" It wasn't a question it was a statement but I find myself replying anyway,

"We used to do everything together, I feel so alone without her. I know it sounds stupid but…"

"No Lavender it doesn't sound stupid at all, I had a very close friend in Hogwarts too, you become more like sisters than friends, you spend all your time together, you end up knowing them better than your family. Don't be ashamed of missing her too much. How do you get on with the others in the year?" How am I supposed to answer that?

"It's…complicated"

"It needn't be Lavender" replied Professor Bell getting up and walking to her door

"Talk to Hermione Granger, you will be sharing a dorm with her for the next year, don't make things awkward"

"Hermione and I have…issues" my mind is screaming _'shut up, why are you telling her' _but I can't help carrying on, I would never had said any of this if it was McGonagall,

"Issues can be resolved Lavender, Talk to her I'm sure you can work it out" she holds the door open for me and I practically run out of it and up the corridor towards the stairs to Divination, I won't be late I left breakfast early.

As I ascend the stairs to the North Tower my mind drifts to my father. I knew he was working hard but if nurses are looking after him then things must be bad. Professor Trelawney greets me with such enthusiasm that I can't help but feel my mood lifted,

"Lavender, Lavender come in and take a seat, how are you feeling today? You don't look your normal chipper self; do you have a bad aura dear? Never mind take a cup of tea and we'll discuss the N.E.W.T.'s and how you hardly need study for them dear you have a natural talent!" I know she's lying but I can't help but smile and greet her warmly.

After a lengthy discussion of the N.E.W.T curriculum and the expected workload we begin with crystal gazing and Professor Trelawney is ecstatic when I say that I can see a misty shape. As she probes me about what it is the mist begins to take form. I look carefully at it and then turn to Professor Trelawney,

"I can see a twirling pattern, like the shape of a tornado and it keeps moving…" Professor Trelawney gasps and I halt my description,

"Are you ok Professor?" I ask concerned,

"My dear is everything alright at home?" she asks suddenly

"Why?" I reply sharply not willing to discuss my home life,

"My dear the tornado is a symbol of destruction to the family unit, and if as you say the tornado is already moving then that indicates that the destruction has already begun! Are your family all well?" she asked, before I can answer I am saved by the bell,

"I better run Professor I've got transfiguration next!"

"Very well Lavender but make sure you write one roll of parchment on the symbol of the tornado in crystal gazing, personal examples will give you extra credit!"

I nod and leave the room quickly.

_A/N I know there has been a really long delay and this chapter is short but I've been sooooooo busy! Please review!_

_Love you all_

_Laura_

_xxx_


	5. Chapter 5

Perfection

I'm so scared of different things- being alone, people hating me, things like that. I think when my mother told me she didn't love me it came as both a shock and relief. Shock that she actually said it to my face and relief that it is finally out in the open.

I think I crave the attention of having a boyfriend so that I feel needed, wanted, loved. I know my father loves me but I still can't help being mad at him- he knows what moms like; I think he even suspects what she is. I, Lavender Brown think that my mother is a death eater. Should I tell someone? If I do it could help with the war, yet break my father's heart. I don't like my mother, I would go as far to say I hate her but can I condemn her to a lifetime in Azkaban. What would happen to dad and Anna? Anna wrote to me today, it was short but reading between the lines I can tell she's worried;

Lavender,

Mother told me to write to say that dads still not better, the Healers aren't sure what's wrong with him but she's been out a lot lately. Its just dad, the nurse, the nanny and me here. I mainly read.

Anna

I could almost continue her last sentence; I mostly read to find a world to escape into. I wrote a reply to Parvati and told her that I would try and draw her some pictures but that I was very busy with NEWT's. I'm not lying either, NEWT's are impossible- even Hermione got a question wrong in Transfiguration yesterday, Professor Bell didn't seem concerned. I still can't figure her out. She's so young. She acts like she wants to be our friend- she even invited Hermione and me to her office for tea- I'm dreading it. At least Professor McGonagall kept her distance. The school feels weird without Dumbledore, it's like a kind of energy is missing.

I'm in the dorm now getting ready to go to tea with Hermione and Professor Bell. I'm wearing a plain red T-shirt with a denim skirt- it's Saturday.

"Ready Lavender?" Hermione asks- I think I can sense the anxiety in her voice,

"Yep" I reply, we leave the dorm together and head for her office.

"Did Professor Bell tell you how long she was going to keep us?" Hermione asked as we left the common room,

"No" I reply, "Why do you have plans?" I ask

"No, well I was going to meet Ron in the library to do some studying" I scowl inwardly,

"I didn't think Ron was the studying type" I reply- this is true, when we were dating he never wanted to go to the library- Terry on the other hand who I claimed last week loves it there, at least my grades will pick up.

"Well he wasn't when he was dating you, but I think now he finally realised how important NEWT's are, he wants to be an Auror"

"Oh" I reply not looking at her "Do you know what you want to be when you leave Hogwarts?" I ask her as we pass the hospital wing, she blushes slightly.

"Well I haven't told anyone yet but I want to be an Unspeakable",

"Why haven't you told anyone?" I ask as she knocks on the office door, she shrugs the question off and faces the door.

"Ah girls, right on time, come in and have a seat" we enter the office and silently sit down.

"Now how are you both finding the new year?" she asks passing us both a drink, Hermione begins by plunging into a long tale about how she is finding the work challenging but still within her grasp and how Ron and Harry aren't working up to their full capacity but that she knows they are trying. Professor Bell offers pieces of advice, which Hermione takes on board with a look of extreme gratefulness.

Professor Bell then turns to me, her small blue eyes boring into my large brown one,

"So Lavender, what about you? Are you enjoying this year so far?"

"Yes it's fine" I reply automatically not meeting her eyes,

"Are you sure?" she asks quietly, I hear Hermione shuffle in her seat.

What does she expect me to say _" No actually Professor who I've only known for about two weeks, my life is pretty crap at the moment, my mother is a death eater who has all but left my sick father and younger sister in the hands of complete strangers, my best friend has buggered off to god knows where, my first love is dating my dorm mate who is better than me in a million ways, my new boyfriend is a complete geek and is silent most of the time except when he is talking about how much he thinks Ravenclaw is vastly superior to all other houses and when he is talking about when we should have sex!!!"_

" Yes" I repeat staring at the floor,

"Ok well Hermione keep me up to date on how things are going"

"Yes Professor" she replies as we both get to our feet,

"Bye then Hermione, Lavender can you stay here please" I sit down as Hermione walks past me and out of the office leaving me alone with my head of house.

"Lavender, I really feel that you need to open up to someone, I know Parvati has left but you still have friends here, I hear you're going out with Mr Boot, do you talk to him about your feelings?" I see red and stand up quickly,

"Excuse me Professor but I really don't believe that's any of your business!" I say, staring at her with tears in my eyes,

"Lavender there's no need to get angry I'm trying to help you!" she says calmly whilst also getting to her feet,

"I didn't ask for your help Professor!"

"Lavender…I became concerned after…" our argument is interrupted by a knock at the door,

"Come in" Professor Bell says calmly, I hastily wipe me eyes on the back of my hand as the door opens and Professor McGonagall walks in,

"Professor McGonagall, what can I…"? Professor Bell begins but McGonagall cuts across her quickly

"Good Miss Brown you're here, excuse me Sarah but a situation has arose" Professor Bell looks slightly abashed as Professor McGonagall turns to me and pushes me into my chair,

"Miss…Lavender I'm so sorry to have to tell you this but your father has…has died" I hear Professor Bell gasp and I look at her automatically while the words sink in. Dead.

A/N So sorry for the extremely long delay!!!! The next chapter is already written and will be up as soon as I have time to type in up. It involves the return of a hated character (and not Voldemort!). Please review!!!

Love you all

Laura

xxx


	6. Chapter 6

Perfection-6

"What…how…" I stutter turning back to the headmistress

"The healers are unsure what caused it, I'm sorry Lavender but there's more that me have to discuss" I look at her, how much worse can it get?

"What?" I ask, a tear threatening to appear,

"Your mother…" Professor McGonagall begins; my facial expression must have changed quickly because she pauses,

"What about her?" I ask attempting to keep the venom out of my voice,

"She has been arrested under suspicion of death eater activities, the ministry representatives will be arriving shortly to question you, I've asked if they could wait till tomorrow in light of your father's death but they have declined…I believe that the evidence against your mother is quite substantial", I gulp, what am I going to say?

Professor McGonagall kneels to my level and looks into my eyes,

"Just tell the truth Lavender, it will be ok" I nearly laugh out loud,

"How?" I ask, she looks slightly abashed that I challenged her, she begins a reply when there is a knock on the door, and it opens without invitation.

A bright looking women with pink hair, a serious looking man and a woman I hoped I would never see again come in.

"Ah Minerva, we thought you would be here" she remarks,

"Dolores" Professor McGonagall replies her hand wondering to her pocket,

"Professor McGonagall, Professor Bell, you may remain if you wish" says the serious man, both Professors nod and take a seat,

"Miss Brown, my name is Kingsley and this is Tonks and we're Aurors. I know you've had a shock but…"Kingsley begins in a deep calming voice,

"Hem hem" Umbridge interrupts, McGonagall's mouth thins,

"Yes Madam Umbridge?" Tonks asks politely,

"I was just wondering why Kingsley did not introduce me to the charming Miss Brown?"

"She knows you" Kingsley replies shortly returning to me,

"Yes but she does not know my new role as…"

"Fine" barks Kingsley,

"Lavender this is Madam Umbridge, Head of the Auror division, now as I was saying we appreciate that you have had a shock but I'm afraid we really need to ask about your mother" I nod and avert his eyes,

"What is your relationship with you mother like?" Tonks asks carefully,

"Fine" I lie automatically, she looks at me tilting her head slightly, "Ok we don't really get on" I continue,

"Why?" asks Kingsley

"She hates me" I say simply, a tear cascading down my cheek, "she only had me and Anna because…" I pause here and look at McGonagall,

"Where's Anna?" I ask, but Umbridge replies to me,

"She is in the care of the ministry"

"What! A care home!" I yell standing on my feet

"Lavender calm down we had…"

"You can't…my mother should look after her!"

"Miss Brown your mother is a death eater, do you deny it?" asks Umbridge, all eyes turn to me and I do the only thing I can.

I bolt from the room, Umbridge runs after me yelling a spell. I don't hear what it is but it must have been a trip jinx because the next thing I feel is pain as I tumble down the stairs. I hear Neville shout my name and feel him sit next to me before I lose the fight with consciousness.

A/N Short chapter I know but the next one is already written and will be up tomorrow! Please review!!!

_Love you all_

_Laura_

_xxx_


	7. Chapter 7

Perfection-7?

Lavender could feel herself awake slowly, she didn't know where she was or how she got there, all she knew was that she hurt everywhere.

Slowly I begin to regain my memory of the last few hours as I slowly open my eyes, I'm in the hospital wing. I fell down the stairs. Dad's dead. Mom's going to Azkaban. Anna's in a ministry care home. Parvati has left the country. Ron and Hermione are finally going out. My boyfriend is a clever creep and I've got Auror's waiting to question me. I think I can safely say that it can't get much worse.

I glance around attempting to place myself within the hospital wing, I'm at the bed opposite Madam Pomfrey's office. The curtains are drawn around my cublicle but I can still her people talking about me, I strain to catch the words,

"…will definitely need to stay in for a few days, she may have concussion and she's also had a shock" said the matron sounding angry

"Very well Madam Pomfrey, however it is crucial that my aurors and I question her immediately!" I would recognise that voice anywhere,

Madam Pomfrey peers round that curtains and notices that I am awake her cheeks are red with anger and she looks quite insulted. She smiles weakly at me and enters the cubicle,

"How do you feel Miss Brown?" she asks kindly helping me to sit up in the bed, I try to say 'fine' but the words get stuck in my throat and I merely make a strange noise.

"Are you in any pain?" I nod slowly and she passes me a potion from the bedside table, I take it quickly muttering in thanks, she replaces the bottle just as Professor McGonagall and the two Aurors walk in, thankfully Umbridge is absent.

"May we talk to her now Madam Pomfrey it really is quite urgent" said the older Auror, surprisingly Madam Pomfrey blushes and nods before replying,

"Yes but she has just had some pain-relief potion so she may be drowsy" the three adults nod and the nurse leaves, drawing the curtain around her. I look up at my interrogators in apprehension, they both looked serious with a shed of concern professionally sealed.

"Lavender we appreciate that this has been a stressful day for you but we really need to know if you have any reason to believe that your mother is a deatheater?" the younger Auror asked, both Professor McGonagall and the elder Auror looked surprised at the young Auros directness and that latter looked like he was going to reprimand her before I decided to tell the truth and interrupted,

"I think…I think she is" I reply looking at the younger Auror directly "over the summer she hardly spent any time in the house and she…she hit my d-dad, one night she came back really late and she was covered in blood and wouldn't say where she had been and I know that she does a lot of business with the Malfoy's" I take a deep breath feeling slightly relieved to get my suspicions out in the open. All three present looked shocked and my honesty.

"Well Miss Brown that is certainly helpful, thank you for being honest we…" said the older Auror before Professor McGonagall cut in,

"Lavender did your mother ever hurt you?" she asked in a voice that I have never heard her used before, I reply with a 'no' almost before she has answered the question, I can feel my face growing warm and I'm finding it more difficult to breath.

"When can I see Anna?" I ask before anyone has the chance to ask anyone questions,

"Well…unfortunately that is a bit tricky at the moment…" replies the young Auror uncomfortably shuffling her feet,

"Why?" I ask taking a deep, uncomfortable breath,

"Madam Umbridge has taken it upon herself to place your sister in solitary confinement to assess whether your mothers dark activites have had any influence on her" the older Auror replys, glancing at Professor McGonagall,

"I want to see her!" I cry feeling tears leaking out of my eyes, my cries have driven Madam Pomfrey out of her office,

"I will not have your distressing my…"

"She's only 7 and we've just lost…lost our parents…she's my…sister…"

"Miss Brown calm down!" I hear Umbridge shouting at me, when did she come in, " You will not be seeing your sister and quite frankly you are lucky that I didn't but you in confinement as well, daughters of deatheaters should be dealt with firmly and with little compassion, you should of told us the minute you suspected she was involved in dark activities"

"Why?" I cry "So…you could break…my father's heart and tear our family to pieces while he was there to watch!" I am standing up now with no recollection of how I got there, I can hear other voices and know that they are trying to urge me back into bed,

"If your father didn't tell us about her then he was as bad as she is, he deserved to die" she screams at me, it's a reflex response that I know will have major repercussions but I will never forget.

I slap her hard across the face.

The cubicle is instantly silenced as Umbridge steps back in horror.

"How dare you talk about my father like that! He was a great man! He is…was a million times the person you are!" I scream at her before stumbling slightly against the bed, Umbridge stares at me before speaking,

"You attacked me, a respected member of the ministry, there will be serious repercussions for that Miss Brown mark my words. We may even be able to find you a cell next to your mother" she then turns and leaves the hospital wing as fast as her stumpy little legs can carry her. All eyes now turn to me.

"I won't say I'm sorry" I say defiantly, to my surprise the young Auror is beaming at me,

"That was brilliant! Don't worry I'll catch up with her and obliviate her" she then turns and runs from the wing, the older Auror now turns to me with a sympathetic smile,

"I'll see what I can do about your sister" then turning to McGonagall he adds "I'll be in touch" before turning to Madam Pomfrey and winking at her, Professor McGonagall's mouth thins and Madam Pomfrey turns to me and holds out her hand,

"Right Miss Brown into bed, I'm surprised you can still stand" I admit that it is difficult.


	8. Chapter 8

Perfection-8

I'm sitting up in bed now thinking about everything and nothing. Madam Pomfrey has had me so doped up on potions since the Umbridge incident that this is the first chance I've really had to think about it. She deserved the slap, I'm sure everyone agrees on that but I will be eternally grateful to the Auror for oblivating her.

I hear a shuffle of footsteps outside my cubicle and Neville pokes his head in sheepishly,

"Hi Lavender, are you feeling up for a visitor?" I smile sadly and nod my head; he walks in and takes a seat,

"How are you Neville?" I ask hoping to delay answering the question myself,

"Me, oh I'm fine thanks, well I've got loads of work to do and I've got to sort out job applications and stuff but anyway, how are you?"

"I'm fine" I say quickly, he looks at me with an expression that I have never seen on his face before,

"Professor Bell told us about your dad, I'm sorry" he said carefully, I look up at him with tears in my eyes,

"Did…did she tell you about my mother?" I ask struggling to hold my somewhat diminished composure; Neville shakes his head looking apprehensive,

"She…she's a deatheater…and I didn't tell anyone…and I knew…and I was in the DA and I still didn't tell anyone…" I dissolve into uncontrollable sobs; I feel Neville's arms around me and cry into his shoulders. He strokes my back carefully while whispering in my ear, I can't hear what he's saying but I know he's trying to make me feel better.

We stayed like that until I had cried myself dry and fallen asleep on his shoulder. I've just woken up now and it's night time. Neville's gone and Madam Pomfrey is probably in bed. I sit up and glance at my bedside table; I do a double-take as I see two pieces of parchment there. The first is a note from Terry,

_Hi Lavender,_

_Heard you fell down the stairs, hope you feel better soon._

_Terry_

I scoff at the lack of compassion and concern and toss in onto the floor. I pick up the second, substantially longer, note and read it carefully;

_Dear Lavender,_

_I hope you feel better after your sleep, you looked tired it's probably all the potions that Pomfrey has you on! Terry popped in to see you, I asked him to wait until you were awake but he said he was busy, he left a note though. Professor McGonagall also told me to tell you that the 'Umbridge incident' has been taken care of; I hope that makes sense to you. Sorry I had to leave but Madam Pomfrey keeps scowling at me so I best go. I'll pop in tomorrow with all your homework and to see how you are feeling._

_Best Wishes_

_Neville_

I smile slightly at the sincerity of his note; he really is a good friend. I keep hold of the note and feel myself once again fall under the spell of the various potions.

Madam Pomfrey finally let me leave after another day under her constant scrutiny. I haven't heard from the Auror's since and I am really hoping that they will leave me be. I'm sitting outside Professor Bell's office now waiting for her to invite me in. When she does I shakily get to my feet hoping against hope that she has some information about my sister.

"Lavender, please take a seat, how are you feeling?" she asks smiling at me with pity in her eyes.

"I'm feeling much better thanks Professor, have you heard about my sister?" No point dancing around the topic, we both know what I'm here for.

"Well Lavender, the ministry has remained very tight lipped about you sister's whereabouts" I stiffen before she continues quickly "However they have granted you a visit, she will be brought to Hogwarts tomorrow morning at 10 and you will be allowed an hour to speak to her" I relax slightly,

"I've been thinking Professor, I'm of age now, and couldn't I leave Hogwarts and take care of her, I could get a job, I've got a few…" I plan on continuing but I am interrupted,

"Lavender, don't make any rash decisions, wait till the ministry has reached a conclusion, your education is very important!"

"More important than Anna" I challenge quietly, I get up and head for the door,

"10am Lavender, in Professor McGonagall's office" I nod and leave the room.

Although its dinner time I have no intention of eating, I haven't been in this Great Hall since I came out of the hospital wing, the Daily Prophet had caught wind of my mother's true allegiance and were pointing out how they had spotted that the family was rotten all along. I couldn't believe it when I found out; my dad owned the paper for 30 years, it was his life.

Anyway it was definitely best to avoid spending time in the Great Hall; I walk straight to the common room and nearly collide with Hermione,

"Oh sorry Lavender, I wasn't looking where I was going!" she said breathlessly,

"It's ok" I reply awkwardly,

"Umm…are you coming to dinner?"

"No, I'm not hungry, I'll see you later"

"Yeh…wait Lavender!" she called after me, I double back slightly intrigued,

"Umm well…I know what your going through is tough, and I want even pretend to understand but you know…if you need to talk to someone…look I know Parvati is gone and that we haven't always seen eye to eye especially with Ron and everything but If you do need someone to talk to…well I'm here if you need me" she blushes and walks to dinner.

I stand there for a few minutes in total shock before I move through the portrait hole and into the common room.

A/N Sorry for the delay, please review!!!

Love you all

Laura

xxx


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I woke the following morning early (well early for me, Granger had already left) and dressed quickly. If I'm quick I could get to the Great Hall before it gets too full and grab some toast before people arrive. I race down the stairs and grab the chair when I reach the bottom feeling slightly dizzy, stupid potions!

I walk to the Great Hall and am surprised at the amount of people already about, I glance into the Hall and see it fuller than I expected, maybe breakfast wasn't such a good idea.

I double back planning on going to the lake for a walk when I hear my name and hurried footsteps,

"Lavender wait!" It's Neville, he runs towards me with a pile of toast in a napkin and hands it to me, "What to go for a walk?"

I smile and accept the toast with a quick thanks.

It's not too cold outside, warm in the sunlight. We walk down to the lake and sit on some rocks watching the giant squid. We don't talk but it's a comfortable silence.

"I'm seeing my sister today" I say taking a bite of toast,

"I didn't know you had a sister, how old is she?" he asks looking at me

"7, she was born the summer before I came to Hogwarts. I didn't really talk about her much, it was strange I'd always been an only child and then all of a sudden this little thing came screaming along" Neville laughed,

"She reminds me of Hermione, she loves reading. I think she gets it off my dad"

"He ran the Prophet didn't he?" I nod, a tear running down my cheek at Neville's use of the past tense,

"They've put her in a care home Neville, I can't bear it!" Neville looked shocked at the venom in my voice,

"Maybe there not as bad as…"

"Of course there that bad Neville, didn't you ever listen to that girl when we were in our second year? She said it was awful!"

"She was in Slyth…"

"Oh come of Neville get real, you grew up in this world you know what they are like!" I jumped up and ran back towards the castle leaving Neville looking slightly hurt.

I'm in the library now working on my Divination essay, the theory of the tornado is easy but I really don't want to put in personal examples. I look at my watch and gather my things together and make my way to McGonagall's office.

I knock and hear her invite me in. My sister is already there with Tonks's the Auror. When I enter Anna looks up, she looks awful. Her eyes are puffy from lack of sleep and she has a large bruise on her cheek.

"Anna" I say quietly, I expect her to turn away from me like she usually does or to have some comment about how fine she is. What I did not expect was for her to throw herself on my and dissolve into floods of tears. I stumble slightly at her weight although I never realised how small she was.

I kneel down and hold her by the shoulders, my fingers grace her cheek

"What happened Anna?" I ask expecting her to say that she walked into a door or that someone at the care home hit her, but again she surprises me with her answer,

"Mommy hit me" I gasp and pull her in for a hug while she continues to cry. I feel tears running down my face and look up at McGonagall over my sisters head. I've never seen her look at me like she is a mixture of pity and sadness. I don't know why. I've never felt so guilty in my life, I should have told people, and I should have stopped her.

When the time comes for Anna to leave I beg the Auror to let us have more time but she claims Umbridge will be waiting. I tell her that I don't care but McGonagall places a hand on my shoulder and I relent. Anna tells me that it's not too bad at the care home and that she will write to me, that shocks me too, we've never been that close. I guess everything is changing now. I hug and kiss her goodbye and thanks Tonks for bringing her and taking care of Umbridge and then in a burst of green flames they are gone.

"You did very well Miss Brown" said McGonagall looking down at me,

"I…I didn't know what to say to her to reassure her that…"

"That everything would be ok?" she said, I nodded "Just being here would have helped; they will bring her back soon"

"Professor McGonagall I was thinking that maybe I could…"

"Abandon your education and raise her yourself?" again I nodded,

"Don't be hasty Miss Brown, Anna needs you here to get good grades and a good job" I nod understanding her point and thank her.

I'm sitting by the lake again now, its lunch. I hear footsteps behind me and know it is Neville before I turn around. He sits next to me in silence.

"She's ok" I say leaning on his shoulder,

"Good" he replies placing an arm around me, and before I know it I'm crying on Neville Longbottom's shoulder for the second time in 24 hours, but somehow it's fine.

A/N I know there was a HUGE delay with this chapter due to a helpful combination of writers block and loads of uni work but I have loads of free time now so all my stories will be updated regularly! Please review!

xxx


	10. Chapter 10

Perfection

Chapter 10

The next few days pass in a blur or tears and study. I seem to have completely fallen apart; the cracks have turned into gaping holes that I can't seem to repair. I even cried in front of Granger in the dorm yesterday, I don't know who was more shocked me or her. She was good about it though, she even hugged me. I just can't seem to accept that dad's gone, I wish there had been a funeral or service or something. Every morning I look up expecting a letter before I remember.

Mother's had her trial now, she was found guilty of being a death eater and supplying the dark arts with potions ingredients. The ministry want to make an example of her; they ordered her to be kissed. It's happening tomorrow at 11am. She was a horrible person but I never wanted that, no one deserves that. When McGonagall told me I could tell she didn't want to even say it. It will be in the middle of Charms, she said I didn't have to go but I think I will.

I'm in the library now checking through my essay, my grades have taken a bit of a nose dive since everything, Terry dumped me but I was glad, it saved me the bother. I'm spending most of my time with Neville and the trio. Harry and Ron have been really nice to me which really surprised me.

Professor Bell has been strangely distant; I think maybe she's worried that I might cry on her, maybe she thinks McGonagall can handle me better.

I'm walking towards the lake now, the leaves on the trees are starting to turn brown, and it's a beautiful scene. For the first time in ages I feel like drawing, I head back to Gryffindor tower and grab my drawing stuff and am back by the lake within 5 minutes.

It's starting to get dark but I think I'll have enough time to make a reasonable start. I concentrate on the shades of the quills and the shape of the leaves. Before I realise it its gotten dark, I know I should head back for dinner but I want to get the sketch finished, maybe I could send it to Parvati. I haven't heard from her, I hope she's not allowed to send to many owls and that's why she hasn't written rather than any other reason.

"Lavender, what're you doin' out here?" Hagrid's booming voice cuts through the air like a foghorn and makes me jump,

"Oh, hi Hagrid, I'll go in in a minute"

"You're not allowed to be out of the castle at night, especially now with everything that has happened Lavender" the statement makes me think, am I in more danger now, am I on par with the trio on Voldemort's hit list? I nod to Hagrid and gather up my things.

"I'm sorry Hagrid, lost track of time" I say standing up and walking towards him,

"What have you been doing Lavender?" he asks glancing at my sketch, "that's quite some drawing Lavender, you've got a real talent there",

"Thanks Hagrid, just a hobby"

"You should be an artist" he says it as if it's the most obvious thing in the world,

"I was going to..." I admit quietly,

"Was? As in not anymore?" he asks as we walk up the steps to the castle,

"I don't think I'd earn enough, I've got to think about my sister now. Bye Hagrid" I walk away into the Great Hall and feel his gaze follow me. I sit down next to Neville and pile my plate with Cottage pie; it seems strange that a few months ago I was writing a diet and exercise plan as if it was the most important thing in the world. I look down at my stomach, I've lost weight without trying but I don't feel the pride I would have expected.

"Pumpkin juice Lavender?" Harry asks indicating to my glass, I nod with quick thanks. He looks tired, ill even.

"Are you ok Harry?" I ask taking in his appearance, he starts slightly, spilling some pumpkin juice on the table which Ron mops up with a tissue,

"I'm not really sleeping, that's all" he says turning slightly pink with the confession,

"Have you asked Pomfrey for a sleeping draught? There are some that can be taken regularly without too many side affects" I ask taking a swig of the juice. Everyone stares at me.

"What?" I say looking at them all,

"How do you know?" asks Hermione with a strange expression on her face,

"Oh...well...my mom worked in an apothecary and she make me help during the holidays sometimes" I admit looking at my plate,

"I didn't know you were into Potions" Ron says glancing carefully at Hermione,

"Oh...well...I guess it's my best subject, that and Divination" I say thinking carefully, maybe I could go into potion development, I mean I sort of enjoyed working at mom's place, apart from the fact she was there. I could earn enough money to take care of Anna, and it would be a good job so dad would be proud of me, I'd probably need good grades, better than I was getting now anyway, I could ask Professor Slughorn in potions tomorrow I'm sure he'd...

"LAVENDER!" my rapid thoughts were interrupted by my fellow Gryffindors' urgent speech. I jump.

"What?"

"Are you ok? You didn't answer and you've gone a funny colour" Neville says calmly looking at me,

"Yeh...I am...I forgot...I have to study" I say in stunted sentences, the group look slightly amazed as I wolf down my dinner at record speed and head of towards the library.

A/N I'm really sorry about the delay I had complete writers block with this story but I have a plan now! I hope you enjoy this chapter, please review!

Laura

xxx


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